I have been avoiding a difficult conversation for months now. It’s been eating at me. I’ve prayed to find the right words. I received an email yesterday that I needed to answer — and I realized I was being handed the perfect opportunity. I decided on the outset of the day to call right away and get it over with. But first I took my morning walk.
I think by procrastinating, literally for months, I was building the call into something it wasn’t. I was making a bigger deal out of the call than it was. I knew I’d be anxious all day, so I chose to make the call in the morning.
By putting off the inevitable, I was stressing myself out and generating needless anxiety.
Yes, I did it. I feel like a huge weight is off my shoulders. The person I talked with is very reasonable and understanding. That helps.
I remember working as a financial advisor, I hated some calls more than others. I could easily put some calls off on the back burner — until they absolutely had to be made.
I have a sign sitting on my desk that says “Live now. Procrastinate later.” I should look at the sign a little more often.
What do you do when faced with a conversation you don’t want to have? Do you tackle it right away? Or avoid it at all costs? Do you do the same thing with chores or things you don’t want to do like taxes? Or do you face the monster and end the nightmare?
I heard a saying many years ago and it has stuck with me as very solid advice. “If you got a frog to swallow, swallow it early.” ~Zig Zigglar. When I had to do something that will hang over my head until I do it, I hear his deep southern accent and do it first! After that, the rest of the day is easy in comparison.
That’s a great saying! Thanks for sharing.
I used to procrastinate on things like this, mostly when I was married and having any sort of conversation with my ex was impossible. It just became a habit to avoid discussions of all types. I now try to hit things running, face the need head on and get it over. It always creates more anxiety when you avoid doing what’s inevitable.
Avoidance does build anxiety. I certainly learned that.
I try to find the right time, the right opening and opportunity and do it as early as possible. That helps because there is no buildup of tension.
I think that is smart.
Thanks!
It depends on who the conversation is with and what it’s about. I can be both on the ball and a major procrastinator…
Yes, I can see that.
Like, if it’s my daughter I just do it. I had to tell my mom something and I waited 12 hours because I had to think of how to phrase it
Sometimes it helps to wait and figure it out. But in this instance I waited too long and worried about it. I think you’re correct and it depends on your relationship.
The worrying is the worst
Most people avoid conversations because they involve someone’s “feelings” getting all bent out of shape. Not an issue I have. At all. Not really sure I have avoided too many conversations.
That’s it! I was worried about feelings.
Yes, I have avoided conversations because I’m afraid of making the situation worse. Since I’ve been meditating on my walks, I’ve learned to take a couple breaths at least to calm myself before tackling hard things like that.
That’s a good idea to meditate first.
I have made upcoming conversations harder in my head than they actually were once I had them (hopefully that makes sense 🙂 ). But, I also think it can be important to wait a bit to have certain conversations to let emotions calm down. Sometimes it’s best to not react too quickly. Finding the right balance is the key.
I completely agree to let emotions calm before reacting. Good advice.
I’m an avoider! I just had a phone call that I put off a week ago. I finally made it, but I am typically an avoider.
I’ve always avoided confrontation or sticky situations, too. I put this call off since August! 🙂
I’m in good company. 🙂
My husband has taught me to be straightforward. Today, I spoke up at work to avoid being a patsy and went home playing the radio loudly and celebrating. Sometimes you need to stand up for yourself!
Good for you! I wish I had addressed my issue months ago and not let it fester,
I tend to avoid unpleasant conversations, it’s not a good policy, but I detest conflict! I so understand how you managed to avoid this one for months! I’m glad it’s over! Hugs, C
It had to do with the property/family issue.