I found a helpful article in the Wall Street Journal which was exactly what the doctor ordered. Called “Stressed? Worn Down? Its Time to Be Your Own Life Coach” by Elizabeth Bernstein. Here’s an excerpt:
You can’t always count on friends or family members for support. During tough times, you can learn to coach yourself.
Ever wish you had someone in your corner 24/7—cheering you on, picking you up when you’re down, helping you set goals and deal with life’s challenges?
Better look in the mirror.
It’s time to become your own life coach. You can’t always count on friends or family members for constant support—especially now, when everyone seems buffeted by uncertainty. Professional coaches (and therapists) can provide valuable help, but they’re pricey, aren’t typically on call at all hours, and established ones may be hard to book.
The ability to mentally coach yourself is particularly important now, as we head into another unexpectedly hard season. The appearance of a new Covid-19 variant—just when we thought the pandemic was lifting!—has thrown many of us back into the stress of fear and uncertainty. It has arrived just in time for the holidays, which can be a lonely or bittersweet time for many, especially those who are grieving.
“You need to be your own best friend,” says Lo Myrick, a mind-set coach and business consultant based in Charlotte, N.C. “You need to take responsibility for yourself.”
Research in a concept that psychologists call self-determination shows that having the ability to draw on internal resources, such self-regulation or self-compassion, during tough times is essential to our well-being and performance. We’re strongest and most stable when we’re motivated from within, have control over our decision-making and time, and feel a sense of purpose.
https://www.wsj.com/articles/its-time-to-be-your-own-life-coach-heres-how-11638976169?mod=Searchresults_pos1&page=1
She goes on to give four tips on how to coach yourself:
Turn down the noise.
Start reflecting
Think small
Practice acceptance
To get the details, please read her article HERE.
I’ve also noticed that when I’m feeling sad, Olive the cat is right by my side. She’s been exceptionally affectionate lately. She must know we’ve grieving and she’s doing her best to make my husband and I feel better.
I’m also looking forward to Christmas with my children and friends. I can’t wait to give then all a big hug.
What are your thoughts on being your own life coach? Isn’t that the same as being resilient?
You saved me some money with the advice you gave in your post. I was about ready to look for a therapist. It’s been on my mind a lot lately because of a failure on my part to be my own coach. I know what to do but when one is in a pit we want help out. It’s hard to be our own coach but who knows us better them ourselves. Thank you.
It’s exactly what I needed to read today, too.
Now if I could just talk my husband into letting me have a dog or cat…which I think are good therapy to have around.
Yes, the cat is very comforting to me right now. My daughter has a pug that is her helper.
I was just hugging our dog this morning and feeling the warmth of his little body relaxing me. This year I have started listening to the Calm app which has meditations every morning when I walk him. It is very helpful in teaching me how to breathe and step out of stressful situations for a minute. Thanks for the link. I’ll have to read her article.
I love the feeling of the cat sitting on my lap. The warmth and weight are so soothing. I downloaded an app recently to meditate. Thank you for the reminder to use it!
I am so grateful for my dogs. They are the therapists I didn’t realize I needed.
I can’t read the article since I don’t have a subscription to the WSJ, but I understand the spirit of what’s she’s saying. My early morning soul homework routine has been akin to what a life coach would teach me. It has kept me going for the past year and a half. 🙂
Good for you! I can see by your list of books that you are a good life coach. Dogs and cats are the best.
Yes resilience is key to everything. Along with acceptance. Sometimes you have to look at something and accept that’s what it is. We all falsely think we can have everything we dream about…but reality…just not possible. But that doesn’t mean we can’t do wonderful amazing things
Acceptance is key. There are things we can’t change or control. Thank you for your inspiring views.
The 4 tips are excellent starting points but I do think it depends.. Sometimes we all need external advice even if it is from a family member or friend, not necessarily a life coach. Olive sounds like a lovely cat 🙂
Thank you. I do agree with you that sometimes we need professional help or from family members and friends.
I do a lot of self talk these days, banishing self limiting beliefs, putting a stop to old records I tend to play over and over. I do think having a close confidant is helpful, I have my sister, she the best gift my parents ever gave me! 💕C
That’s so sweet about your sister. ❤️ I have one or two close friends I confide in.
Yes, I agree. We need to be our number 1 fan and supporter because our friends and family have their own issues to deal with and can’t be there for us all the time. My heart goes out to you while you grieve. Happy new year!
Thank you so much.