A beautiful poppa quail in a tree.
Now that the Thanksgiving Feasts are over, we turn the page to Black Friday. Why is the Friday after Thanksgiving called Black Friday? It’s a term from the 1960s coined by police in Philadelphia according to my searches on the internet. They used Black Friday to describe the increase in heavy traffic due to shopping. It also is the day that red ink turned black for stores thanks to shoppers.
I have found this week to be one of the most stressful thanks to my dad being admitted to the hospital last Friday. He’s a “Surviving Sue” person in my life, as a comparison to Dr. Vicki Atkinson’s book of the same title. You can read more about Dr. Vicki and her book on the blog Victoria Ponders.
I am the person in charge of talking to doctors, nurses, family members, selecting a skilled nursing facility, looking for assisted living, selling my dad’s house. Fortunately, by Thanksgiving, he was coherent, moved from the hospital to skilled nursing and is doing better.
We had one snafu. Years ago my dad and I went to his bank to put me on his account so bills could be paid in case he was in the hospital, unconscious, etc. I went into the bank in person with my notebook with his trust, will, power of attorney documents and learned that I was not on his account. I was added as a successor trustee, which means I can pay his bills after he dies. The bank didn’t accept the power of attorney documents and wants them to be redone.
All I can say is from my broken ankle and surgery, my kids’ two surgeries and now my dad, I’m ready to turn the page on 2025!
I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving.
What Black Friday deals are you looking for?
Are you ready for the holidays or wishing for a new year altogether?
So sorry your holiday included this sadness. Hope you can get the legal matters resolved quickly. I went through something similar with my late mother, it can be very frustrating.
Thank you. Yes, I hope everything gets straightened out, too. I was surprised to find out that the bank didn’t process things the way we had asked.
I fought with my mother’s bank for months after she passed. It was an emotional nightmare.
That’s terrible. The situation with aging parents and those that have passed is hard enough without having to deal with the banks.
The horrible thing I’ve learned over the years? If you have access and the legal right to a loved one’s account when they’re terminally ill? Withdraw almost everything while they’re still here. Fighting with bank over money when you’re grieving is an awful thing.
That is so sad!
That must have been a shock EA, finding what you expected to be easy won’t be until things can get straightened out. I can totally understand that you want to say goodbye to this year and move on to better things. Hang in there.
I was trying to not travel after just getting home from taking care of my kids. But I do have to make a trip out there and work on things in person.
Sounds like quite a stressful mess, dealing with your dad’s finances. I’m glad he’s doing better. We went through something similar with my father-in-law. But he changed his bank account to a joint account, which allowed my wife to write checks to pay his bills. And fortunately, he was willing to set up a living trust. That saved us a great amount of time and effort handling his estate, after he died.
It’s interesting that we went into the bank six or seven years ago to get a joint account, only to find out now that we don’t have one. My dad was surprised, too.
That seems kind of strange. Somehow, someway, some key detail must have been overlooked by someone.
I’m fortunate my dad got better. He was out of it for several days. It could have been a disaster.
Yeah, glad he survived the Thanksgiving bird purge.
Thanks! It’s been a tough week with new surprises every day.
I understand. I was the person in charge for my Dad when he passed away. My brothers were not there. I called my oldest brother, and he said, “It is your decision.” It was very sad and challenging. I was glad to have my husband, Michael, with me. Wishing you better times. We are ready for the holidays. Mostly.
My dad has a second family and their mom is currently in the hospital which adds a twist. I’m sorry you had to experience this stress, too.
Oh, I understand.
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Wow, God bless your dad and family, Elizabeth! My sister was the executor of our parent’s estate. I hope that 2026 brings much better days for you and your entire family. I thnk that Black Friday thing needs to be replaced with something much more positive sounding.
Black Friday has always been a downer for me. I agree that the name needs to be changed and the whole shopping thing. Thanks for your concern.
You are welcome. 🙏🏻 😊
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Oh…dear one! I’m so sorry to read this news about your father. Sending all my love…and you know I’m right here if there’s anything I can do to support you. Mean it! ❤️❤️❤️
That means so much to me. I will reach out to you if and when I’m overwhelmed 😢
You are amazing…you and your big heart. Just remember to slow down when you can to take care of yourself, too. ❤️❤️❤️
I’ve been in panic and stress mode. He’s lucky it was dehydration and malnutrition and not something more serious. My brother and I have been trying to handle everything from afar, but my husband has business meetings back in Palm Springs, so I am going with him. I need to be there in person to take care of loose ends like banking and getting dad’s house listed.
So many important things to manage. Just pace yourself as much as you can…my best advice. You are oh-so capable. One task at a time. Keep me posted. Deal? ❤️🥰❤️
I will. I’m thankful for this advice: “one task at a time.” 💕
Just sent you an email…pls do stay in touch. ❤️
Thanks!!!
❤️❤️❤️
You’re the best 🥰
❤️🥰❤️
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Although I miss my parents, I’m also grateful that those days of elder care are over. I had my name on my dad’s accounts so I was able to take care of his expenses fairly easily, but I remember going through a few hoops with the bank. Good luck!
Thanks for sharing your experience with this. When we both went to the bank together years ago, we thought I was made a joint account holder. It was not great to find out they didn’t do what we asked. Hopefully, I can get things straightened out.
Bummer about your dad’s sudden decline and hospitalization. I hope you can get the banking worked out soon.
I am not (ever) doing any shopping on Black Friday, in person or online. I do very little shopping anyway.
I’m hoping to get some writing projects going or progressing in December. Looking forward to just being home. Maybe some snow will come and we’ll get to ski. Or like last winter, keep on biking all season!
It’s fortunate that my dad bounced back. He was entirely out of it for a couple days. Now he’s thriving in skilled nursing. I have a meeting with them next week to find out next steps and what their goals are for him.
As for skiing, it used to be my favorite sport. I started at age two and worked as a ski instructor for our WA local ski school in high school. But a fall in 2018 popped by ACL and meniscus and it seems too risky now. Good for you to be biking and skiing! That’s amazing.
I have a torn ACL in the right knee and an artificial left one, but I don’t let it stop me (at least not yet). The right hip may be going, though…
Glad your dad has improved. Where does he live? Near you?
He lives in Palm Desert. He used to be 30 minutes from us, but now it’s either a four-hour drive or a 45-minute flight.
Good for you to keep skiing in spite of your injuries. I’m a chicken! One little hike and I broke my fibula this year.
Oh, I’m sorry to hear that you have another caretaking task on your hands, Elizabeth. Wow, that is a snafu on the financial side. What a hassle! Hope things settle down!
You’re exactly right. I felt like I had done my caregiver tasks already! Thanks for your comment and concern.
Hang in there. 2025 is winding down, a new year will be here soon!!!! 🤣🤣😎😎
Thanks! The last week and months have been tough. I appreciate your optimism.
I hope you have a lovely Thanksgiving, E.A.! I’m glad you figured out the PoA stuff while you’re father is still coherent. I hope 2026 is a wonderful and blessed for you and your family.
Thank you! It will be a chore, but thankfully, he is doing better.
Oh I’m so sorry Elizabeth that you are having so many family issues. I hope your dad gets better and can help you sort the legal issues. Hugs.
Thanks! I will be going out to his house in a week. Hopefully everything can be turned around with the bank.
Best of luck dear friend. These things are not easy, but very essential. I hope things go smoothly for you. Hugs
Thank you! 💕
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I finished all my holiday shopping 🛍️ online . And yes….totally looking forward to holiday season!!
We are taking our son, DIL and daughter to the big Island. Hopefully, my dad will be settled in assisted living — or still in skilled nursing care! You’ve had your fair share of parents lately, too! Glad you’re ready for Christmas.
Sounds perfect!! Except for rehab but you get what I’m saying
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Your strength and grace in navigating so many challenges is truly inspiring.
Through family care, unexpected hurdles, and the chaos of life, you shine with resilience.
Wishing your dad continued recovery and hoping 2026 brings calm, joy, and well-deserved peace.
Thank you for the kind words.
First of all, thank you for your generous words.
They didn’t just reach me — they lifted me.
People like you make this journey worth every sentence.
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Hoping in 2026 you can stay out of hospitals and that you can get all the banking stuff resolved with your dad. I am glad he is doing better.
Thank you! It’s been a very stressful time with him in the hospital. Now he’s in skilled nursing and I’m going out there next week to see him, do banking and list his home with a realtor. We’re all happy he’s decided to no longer live on his own.
You are very welcome! Aging parents is definitely a stressful part of life. Glad some of the stress will be helped with him living in a home now. I hope he likes it.
I’m thrilled he’s excited about it and it was his decision.
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My friend, I’m so very sorry to hear of this latest drama in your life; I’m ready for 2026 to be better for you. (and your father)
We’ve been going through all the trust set ups with my FIL, and for our daughters, hoping to alleviate any issues in the future, so I know how much work that is.
It sounds like you did the work in preparation, but still, it wasn’t just right. SO many things to cover, so it’s easy to miss something like the bank issue. Praying things look up for you, and you can get it settled sooner than later. XO
Thank you. I’ll be in person next weekend to try and get things straightened out. The good news is dad is doing better. He’s in skilled nursing and has selected an apartment for assisted living in the same facility. He’s turning 94 next month, so it’s time.