Sunrise on a cloudy morning.
I woke up Sunday morning feeling off. There are a bunch of things on my mind.
First, my daughter-in-law who was approved for disability until the end of March, was cut off from it out of the blue. Now my son and DIL have to fight the system to get it reinstated.
Next, she was informed by her job through email that they are exploring termination because her 12 weeks of leave through the Family and Medical Leave Act has ended. I don’t think that is legal, because cancer is protected under ADA. The doctor gave her leave of absence until her chemo treatments are done.
It’s so frustrating to me that they have this added stress. It’s unnecessary and wrong and they shouldn’t have to deal with these issues while she’s undergoing her last few months of chemo.
We had a house guest over the weekend. He was a childhood friend of my husband’s and they were roommates when we first got together. I thought he was staying with us for a few days, but he left early Sunday morning after arriving the afternoon before.
Finally, we have a tenant who hasn’t paid rent and it was due January 1. He’s strung my husband along with excuses and promises to pay and finally admitted yesterday morning that he doesn’t have the money. This is the same house where we had problems — with possible illegal activity. I wrote about it HERE.
What sort of things make you feel out of sorts?
When something doesn’t go my way because of incompetence of others. On Saturday morning my gym is supposed to open at 7. I wanted to go.at 815. When I got there it was not open. This made me irrationally angry because that was the only time I could workout that day.
Do they have a reason for the gym being closed?
There was no note on the door. No emailto members. No response to my email. Poor mamagement
That would get me upset. We have an app for our gym and they use it for messaging, class schedules and swim reservations. They are good about communication.
It irked me
I can imagine.
I’m angry for you – all of you – to hear that your son and Buff have to rally to retain Buff’s employment and her health benefits. I’m so sorry. Added stress indeed…on top of the other items you mentioned. Sending hugs. Wish there was more I could do…but I can say it feels like cascades of stress flow together. Never singularly, it seems, but in waves. Take care of yourself. 💕
Waves is a good way to describe it. Thank you for your concern.
I’m sorry EA, that’s a lot to take in, especially with the son/DIL situation. I hope they can get things straightened out as I agree with you, they don’t need more stress. I think of the term out of sorts as being mildly annoyed or worried. You seem to have a few situations going on that, for me anyway, would go beyond that in the reaction department.
Yes. Out of sorts doesn’t adequately describe my feelings right now. I’m so worried about my son and DIL.
From your last comment on my post, I had gathered that there was something bothering you, but these are a lot of worries.
It’s really not fair what’s been going on with your daughter in law’s treatment and job. It would add to their stress to fight the system for what’s their right. I hope they can get this sorted out. I hope the rest of the problems get sorted out soon too. Sending you love and hugs.
Thank you. They will spend the week tackling the issues. Hopefully they will get resolved.
Amen! All the best to you all my friend.
Thank you. I just found out a friend passed away. He was fighting pancreatic cancer. This is a sad day.
I’m so sorry dear friend. May you find peace and comfort in your shared memories.
Thank you.
Hugs.
Much appreciated.
🥰
My son and DIL had success today. It took the entire day, but they got her disability payments restarted and an attorney for her job. It’s illegal to fire her because of cancer.
That’s good news. I’m glad they got the assistance they needed. 😍
What sort of things make you feel out of sorts? Seeing or hearing the word “Trump” anywhere. Or seeing a photo of him. People, for the love of all that is good, shut up about this guy. 🤨
😂
Right! That’ll do it all right. If I was struggling to find what makes me cranky, you nailed it!
AMEN! 🙂
I’ll second (or third or fourth) that!!!
I’m sorry you’re facing so many stressful things right now. I hope that your son and DIL get disability and work figured out. I’ve been there and it’s awful, especially when there’s illness involved. In AZ, employees’ jobs are only protected by FMLA for 12 weeks per 12 months regardless of diagnosis (UGH), but you might seek a free legal consult with someone who practices in CA to see if there are any protections. Your family will be in my prayers. Gosh, I wish I could do more to help.
My son said that cancer is protected under the ADA, but not FMLA. Her 12 weeks are up. They will have a phone call with the employer and explain that under ADA she can’t be fired. They’ve contacted an attorney friend and are getting a referral to an employment attorney. Hopefully it gets resolved before then.
I’m so glad they’re seeking legal counsel, though it’s so awful that they need to deal with this on time of simply trying to heal. I am so sorry, E.A.
Thank you. You do understand what they’re facing. She should be stress free right now and filled with optimism and positive thoughts. But unfortunately, that’s not the case.
So, true. Dr. Zeus has been on disability for 15 years and even still they pull tricks each year and make him jump through hoops to keep benefits… it’s sad because people who are sick or disabled shouldn’t need to spend their limited energy on that. My heart really goes out to your son and Buff. I hope that things quickly fall into place.
Good news. Her disability payments are reinstated after nine phone calls and hours on hold. I’m relieved she didn’t have to be in a room full of people with her weak immunity. Then the attorney they talked to said to have an initial phone call with HR and if they terminate her, he will take the case and it’s a slam dunk. They are breaking the law. Still so much unnecessary stress.
Oh, thank goodness!! 🙏🙏🙏
That’s hard, Elizabeth. I’m sorry. I’ve noticed that if one thing has bothered me (like your DIL’s medical/work situation – that’s terrible!), everything else feels bigger. What’s manageable in single doses is so much harder to take all at once. Sending lots of good wishes to you and your son/DIL!
Everything seems harder today. I also learned that a friend of ours in Palm Springs lost his struggle with pancreatic cancer.
Oh, that’s terrible. I’m so sorry.
Thank you.
Ugh about your son and DIL having to fight with her job and insurance. Absolutely not something they shouldn’t have to stress about right now!
Sorry about your tenant as well! Frustrating for sure!
I hope things get better for you this week and that your DIL can win the battle with insurance and with her job!!
I worry so much about them anyway. This just put me on edge.
I can understand! (((Hugs)))
Thank you!
💕
I’m so sorry that your family is going through that. I don’t think people realize how broken our medical and social support systems are until they, or a loved one, have a serious issue. I can’t imagine the cruelty of a company terminating someone who is dealing with cancer, even if they are legally able to. I hope your son and DIL are able to get help.
Thank you. She was approved for disability benefits through the month of March, yet they were discontinued without notice. Now they have to go through the bureaucracy to get them reinstated — or if they’re reinstated. She’s a teacher at a charter school for gifted kids and she can’t physically be at school until chemo is over. Although her family leave of 12 weeks expired, cancer is a protected disability under the ADA. I’m so upset they have to deal with this now!
Good news! After nine phone calls and hours on hold, the disability checks are reinstated. Now she needs her job to return too.
You are right to be upset! I would be so frustrated. Hopefully your son and daughter in law can get this straightened out. They shouldnt have to but hopefully it’s a quick resolution
It is a relief. Whew!! They went through a week of these issues but solved one today. Disability is reinstated after nine phone calls. She’s getting checks until she’s cleared from chemo treatments. They spoke to an attorney who told them what to say to HR about her illegal termination. If the employer fires her, the attorney will take the case on contingency. Such a relief for this worried Mom.
That’s awesome. I’m not a lawyer so I didn’t want to say anything but that seems a no -brainer case. You can’t fire someone will-nilly for getting cancer. Your DIL has protections!!! Sounds like good news!!!!!
Huge good news that we got tonight. We are there to help them through it all. But unfair is unfair. Stress while healing through cancer…ugh
What a terrible situation for your son and DIL. This should not be the way things are in this wealthy country. Other countries are much more sane and compassionate about their citizens in crisis.
I hope they get the situation resolved. Sorry you’ll have to go through the eviction headache, but sounds like it needs to be done.
My DIL’s situation is getting resolved. She got disability reinstated after nine phone calls and being on hold for hours. So unfortunate they have to go through the stress! As for the tenant, we are empathetic, but we have to pay mortgage, HOA and taxes. I don’t think it’s worth it. It adds stress to me!
How horrible. Only the kindest and most deep well wishes for them. My wife is fighting the system over PT after a botched hip replacement – she is worse now than before. I feel your frustrations.
I’m sorry about your wife hip replacement. That’s so unfair, too.
It can’t compare to the issues your son and DIL face. I offered it simply as a side note that the system sucks. Excuse my English
It does. My kids are convinced that insurance, disability, unemployment etc. are set up to deny benefits.
They are. My wife did medical billing for 16 years – I heard all kinds of stories. I usualy joke that the only goal of insurance companies and HR departments is to deny the applicant.
Isn’t that sad? Instead of helping people? My DIL and son had a phone call with her HR department today and they were told she was being terminated. There’s more steps ahead, but the the disability was reinstated without missing a check. So thats good news. I’m more worried about cancer and if it returns.