I’m not feeling it

cactus with bird's nest
This cactus is fascinating to us. Right in the middle of it is a bird’s nest. How safe must they be!

Everyone is writing about their goals, their resolutions and how motivated they are for a new year. I’m not feeling it at all. I’m finding it difficult to get out of bed and to get outside for my daily walk. I’m feeling sad. This weekend I’m flying to help my son post his second surgery in six months. My daughter is angry with me. I said something to her that I wish I could take back, but I can’t. I can only apologize.

It’s not an auspicious beginning to a new year. Maybe I’m feeling a let down after our big Christmas vacation that we had planned for a year. Or, maybe it’s too cold outside. Maybe I’m still grieving the deaths of two friends. Or, maybe I worry too much about my kids. Neither my son or daughter is in a great place right now and it hurts my heart.

nest buried deep within a cactus.
Can you spot the nest in the cactus? I’d like a nest like that where everyone would leave me alone.

Sorry to be so negative. I’m mostly a glass half full person, but like I said — I’m not feeling it. I think I need to get out my gratitude journal and get to work.

What do you do when you feel blue? Are you able to snap out of it? Any helpful hints would be appreciated.

30 thoughts on “I’m not feeling it

  1. I do not see it as negativity, I see it as reality. We have had two shitty years, so it is only realistic to think we are in for a third since little has changed. About 20 years ago, I made my last New Years resolution: Not to have any more resolutions. To this day I have kept that resolution.

  2. Oh, I’m so sorry you’re feeling blue. *just noticing the beauty of the color we use to describe sadness* Anyway- have been there so often lately. For me, it is mostly caused by things out of my control. If it were in my control, I’d change it. So, while I resolve to watch God work in those things and learn what He may have for me in them, I turn my focus on things I can control and look for a win. Is there a project you can tackle? A burden someone else is carrying which you can help lift? (Sounds like you’re already doing that for your son) or even just an encouraging verse or song you can repeat? Here is one I can lend you ;).
    ‘I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.’
    John 16:33
    This place is not our home. It is simply the on-ramp. Eternity stretches out before us and there will be no more crying there. Soon and very soon, we are going to see our King! 🎵

  3. We’re heading into year two of this nonsense, and now it’s becoming a problem again. At least, that’s how it is where I live. I’m feeling heavy on the inside and out. You’re not alone.

    When you factor in what you’ve just been through, it’s a lot. Go easy on yourself. It’s not normal to renew in January. It’s winter. Save the resolutions and refresh for spring, when it’s more realistic.

  4. I’m sorry you’re dealing with so much. The new year is just a change of dates and so many of us just use it as a gentle push in a better direction. I think honoring where you are and taking time to rest and pause is equally if not more important.

  5. As a mom you never stop worrying about the kids. It is hard sometimes to let them be. I am going to be with my daughter on Thursday when she has surgery on her jaw. She has the same problem that I had with my temperomandibular joint and lower jaw. I had the surgery about 34 years ago. I feel sad that it may be something that I passed on to her. I am just trying to take deep breaths and use my Calm app when I walk the dog every morning.

    • I hope your daughter’s surgery goes well. My son broke his foot tripping on the stairs. He’s got brittle bones due to the asthma meds he was on for close to 20 years.

  6. It’s been a really difficult time for you E filled with grief, worry, and suffering. You deserve to feel exactly what you are feeling right now and allow yourself the blues if you will. I like to curl up with a huge bowl of popcorn and an old movie, or a favorite book, maybe a pet to snuggle. It doesn’t take away the pain but I feel comforted by letting go of how I “should” feel or what I “should” be doing. Sending you some love my friend, C

  7. From your post I can see that you have a lot going on which only adds to your emptier than normal feeling about the glass 1/2 full. I think that many of us are going through it. I wrote about it the other day myself. So I decided to see what I could do to help myself which became more sleep, a little mediation and journaling and some down time. I don’t know if that could be helpful to you too, but I thought I’d let you know. Big hugs.

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