The Oceanview Diner’s outdoor seating where we had breakfast our last morning in Berkeley. It used to be known as Bette’s and is an iconic and delicious restaurant. Here’s an article about the reopening of the restaurant and name change.
“I am a happy person internally,” our Lyft driver said on our ride back to the hotel after meeting our kids and DIL for breakfast on Fourth Street in Berkeley. “If things external are out of my control, I don’t let them unhappy myself.”
Our driver was from Nepal and I felt like I was listening to an ancient philosopher.
He talked about how family was the most important part of his life. How he wanted to raise his children to be respectful and good people. He was concerned about the cost of living in the Bay area and the schools. We told him about Arizona and he was filled with questions.
We told him it was an affordable place to raise a family. He’d have to look closely at schools because depending on the town and neighborhood, the schools can vary.
Then my husband added, “It gets really hot there in the summer.”
“Look at your five fingers,” the driver said. “They are not all the same, but you accept them as they are.”
Wow. That hit me. Not everything is all good or all bad. Nothing is the same.
Another driver we had from the airport to our hotel was from Nigeria. He explained that they lived on $5 a day there and didn’t have running water.
“It’s a third world country. You have to haul your water into the house each day. People here don’t realize how fortunate they are,” he said.
Have you learned valuable lessons from people of other cultures? If so, what have you learned?
View of the hotel. The door below tower is the carriage entrance. I never got a photo of the main entrance!
What a privilege to take those rides with people willing to share about their culture and life. It really hits home doesn’t it, to hear what life can be like outside our known environment. When I was still working with newborns we had a very broad, diverse patient base. Many families were new to the US and so many were willing and eager to engage and tell their stories. I always appreciated the way they would share so that I could learn.
You are correct. It was a privilege to hear the stories of the people driving us. It was eye opening to learn about how things we take for granted, like running water, they didn’t have. Everyone who drove us was so focused on family first.
Yes, I saw and heard that too! Everything they were doing was for the betterment of their family 🙂
Some of the best moments of our weekend was listening to our drivers.
My mom used to tell me that there’s always something we can learn from any person, if we’re just willing to listen.
What a wonderful thing it is to be willing to listen and learn new things.
I totally agree EW! I learned so much from so many at my job and you could see by their faces that they wanted, and needed to share because they missed their own homes and communities. It hurts to know that so many are unwilling to open themselves even just a little bit. They are missing so much.
One of our drivers felt this was a better place to raise his family, but missed his mom who felt it was too hard to come here.
Immigrants are faced with really hard and frightening situations as they contemplate leaving home and travelling to a totally foreign country, often with very little materially or financially. I respect them immensely for their choices.
He said his mother now has Alzheimer’s and when he goes back to visit, she doesn’t always recognize him. Wouldn’t that be so hard?
Listening is key.
That we have much to be grateful for, and many are willing to risk everything, including death, to come here. I don’t know if people think about that clearly enough
We do take our everyday lives and freedom for granted. You’re correct, we should be grateful for where we were born.
Ohhhh “don’t let them unhappy myself”. Love his wisdom. ❤️ Thank you for sharing, Elizabeth.
I loved it too! I wish I had a pen and paper to take notes!
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Very deep, thanks for not posting this on a Monday. My wife and I often discuss, with contempt, the people we know who regularly complain about the dumbest things then say how blessed they are. They have no concept of how blessed they truely are.
Can you imagine hauling water into your house every day — and probably it’s not that clean!
I cannot imagine. My grandmother (bless her soul) was the youngest of 3 and that was her job. She went to a stream (a mile away) and got water for the family. This was around 1920 just outside Baltimore.
Wow! I know my mom grew up before refrigerators and they had ice boxes. They had ice delivery every week. But they did have running water. She was born in the 1930s.
The real thing is we all assume that how life is now is how it has always been. Not to mention everyone is living the same “now” life style. Which your story proves wrong.
So true!
I love engaging with drivers, many who are immigrants. We’ve learned so much just by asking questions about their lives. I don’t like unhappying myself either 🙂
The stories we can learn from hardworking immigrants who want the best for their families are priceless. I’m going to work on not unhappying myself because of external events too.
I’m trying to write a thoughtful comment to your post, but I keep looking at the wise comments you got from your drivers and I’m coming up empty EA. Ha, ha, glad you came back with lots of wisdom, if not memories.
You gave me a good laugh. I’ll never forget the driver from Nepal holding up his hand and telling us to look at our five fingers. We told him to look us up if he comes out to Arizona.
Aww, that’s awesome EA! You need your let us know if he surprises you with a visit!
Will do!
There is so much to learn from those who come from different backgrounds. My best friend grew up in China where she slept on a wooden plank without sheets and her husband in India where he shared a small shack with 26 relatives and read math books in hopes of moving to the US on scholarship and forging a better life. They are the most humble and gracious people I know and continually remind me how fortunate I am, even when life gets hard.
Wow. What a story of your best friend and her husband. We are so blessed here, even when we are facing tough times.
Wow, I love that you captured these beautiful perspectives, Elizabeth. The hand one is so front and center that it’s hard to forget. And I love the wording of “let them unhappy myself.” So good!
The people working second or third jobs who said this to us opened my eyes.
Those are great images of the immigrants you encountered and their humble wisdom.
When we lived in Guatemala City (1970s), most people of means had live-in help. My dad hired a daytime housekeeper five days a week. She got paid $2 a day and spent two dime to commute by bus to her home across the city (probably a long ride and her home very modest – we might call it a slum, perhaps). Yolanda was always cheerful and saved her wages to put her daughters through college – in the U.S.
Wow. What a fascinating story. We can learn so much from people not used to our largess.