A view of a cactus in bloom in a pot in our back yard.
I am a worrier. And lately, I have been overcome with worry. Not only because of my future daughter-in-law’s cancer diagnoses — that’s the big thing — but there’s also other things in my life that my worrying spills into.
What I have discovered is the anticipation or not knowing gets my anxiety into high gear.
Then when the “thing” is known — or it actually happens — I am in shock. I can feel my entire body shake, including my hands and even my spine. I spend some time in denial. Eventually I settle down, and face my new reality.
Acceptance slips in. It’s a part of my life. I can accept it. Until another drama, disaster or bad news hits, and then I live through the process again.
Then I go for a swim, pray and take a walk. It helps, but it doesn’t get rid of it.
Do you worry more about the unknown, not having information or do you worry more once you have all the facts and it’s not good news?
A close-up of the cactus in bloom.
I worry about the unknown. When I know, i can figure out how to handle it…it might not be easy but I can take positive steps. The unknown is scary… I read you and tater back to back and he’s in similar thought today
That’s how I feel. Not knowing makes me worry more. I’ll have to read Tater.
I agree with LA. I can blow things completely out of proportion before really knowing facts. I’m not a patient person anyway and then I pile worry on and start overthinking things. It certainly makes life more complicated.
That’s how I work too. I can overthink and create scenarios in my mind. It would be easier for myself to not worry until I have the facts.
And the logic that tells us not to worry makes us worry even more!
Yes!
I don’t worry so much about the unkown as I worry about the unplanned or simply the things that are out of my control or unexpected.
I totally understand that. It’s nice to have a feeling of control.
I’m so sorry about all that’s in front of you right now. The ‘care and keeping’ of you is oh-so important. I’m glad to hear you’re sticking to a routine of what works well – swim, pray, walk. I find I need my routine more than ever when life spins out of control. The structure keeps me calmer than I would otherwise be…I can get swept into catastrophic thinking so quickly that I forget to be in the moment and love, love, love the ones who mean the most. Forget ‘one day’ at a time. When I’m feeling the weight of stuff I can’t control I break my day into smaller chunks…morning, afternoon, evening. Sometimes even an hour at a time.
Sending you strength this morning. 💕
Thank you for the advice of dividing the day into chunks or hours. That makes it more manageable. I appreciate all your hugs and feel your strength coming my way.
You bet…wish I could do more. xo…xo…xo 💕
You are helping me tremendously 💕
I’m glad to hear that. Reach out anytime. Hugs, hugs, hugs. 💕💕💕
😊
I’m sorry Elizabeth that you’re going through hard times my friend.
Personally, I liked to know the good or bad news first before I start to worry. Worrying never has helped me and logically there are fifty-fifty chances of it being good news too. So I wait. When I know, I deal with it in an appropriate way.
Thank you. You have a sensible and practical way of dealing with the unknown. I wish I could be more like you.
It’s my medical background that helps me deal with practicalities and not get overwhelmed. You have your own strengths my friend. Hugs
Thank you. I do think your medical background has kept you with a better frame of mind.
Yes it helps me be more detail oriented. Then there’s less time to worry.
👍🏼
I find when I am busy and working hard that worries bother me less. With too much time on my hands, I follow the news.
The news can make us all worry too much.
I try to limit my time. As I am busy, I just make a cursory glance and move on.
👍🏼
Sounds like life has thrown some worrisome things your way. Hoping for you that all comes out well. Big hugs!
I would not consider myself a worrier under normal circumstances. I’m naturally optimistic. But when I do worry, it tends to be about possible health issues. Then I stop, because I figure the stress of worry will just make anything worse.
I do feel like I’m hit with one thing after another. I agree with you that worry only makes things worse.
You’ve got a lot on your plate. All legitimate things to worry about and keep in mind. Sounds like you’re doing the best you can . . . all you can ask for. Hang in there!!!!
Thank you!
The waiting for the bad thing is the hardest part. I try to deal with it in advance, but I really can’t . But then I also struggle to process it after the fact. I realized that I still haven’t fully grieved the loss of my running life. It meant a lot to me and I had to give it up.
Waiting to hear news is the hardest for me too. Sorry about your loss of running.
Oh, I feel you, Elizabeth. Swim, pray, walk is a good combo. I have a mantra that is my go-to when it gets bad, “faith over fear.” It doesn’t solve everything but it reminds me that I can only do what’s in front of me and then I have to turn over everything that’s above my pay grade to God. Sending big prayers for Buff!!
That’s a great mantra. Thank you for sharing it with me. Thank you for your prayers. 💕
Meditation is hard, but it’s the best way to deal with worry and anxiety. When I get in these states I also journal my feelings asking myself all sorts of questions which make me realize that I produce my own worry and anxiety. It takes practice to quickly calm ourselves. You’ve been going through a lot, but then you have to be grateful that you’ve also had a lot of vacations, time away. Life is a mixture of good and challenges.
I do have a mindfulness app that has meditating. Thanks for the reminder to use it! I also find journaling helpful.
I’m so sorry you have so much to worry about. I think that is the reality of the world we live in. I used to worry a lot more. I was going to outline my thoughts about it, but it might get long for this comment. I’ll make myself a note to blog about it soon. I’ll be praying for you to have that deep-seeded peace that comes from knowing that God is on the throne, always caring for His own. We don’t understand all of His methods, but we know He is Good. And He is Love. And hard times build character and, once through them, make our faith stronger. Each hardship gets easier as our trust in Him grows.
Thank you. I will look forward to reading your post. I have had several other worries crop up in addition to the big ones. I feel like things are out of control, but then I realize I need to pray and I calm down.
Have you heard the song “I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart”? There is a verse that says “I’ve got the peace that passes understanding down in my heart”. It is that peace, the one that we can’t understand because it comes when our worlds are imploding, that we know is from Him. But we have to let go of our desire to control what happens – to us and the people we love- to feel it. That is a tough thing, but so so worth it!
Philippians 4:7 “ And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
I do not know that song, but I love that you’re sharing it with me. Thank you for your support and helping me find peace.
I try my best not to worry at all, but instead would rather envision a positive outcome. If nothing else, it helps to save my sanity, and more often than not, a positive outcome is the result. I wish you peace of mind, relaxation and joy in that glorious back yard! 🙏
That is such a good outlook. I will keep that in mind.
I think that in general, too much anticipating or worrying about upcoming events do tend to be counter-productive, and brings about further, unneeded stress in our lives.
Absolutely it does!