Does anyone have a person in their life that when their name pops up on your phone, you want to run? I do. And the name popped up yesterday. I was feeling so good after my vacation and visit with mom, only to fall down the distress hole after interacting with “that” person.
I got very upset. I let it take over my moments of joy and relaxation. It bled into today. And I need to stop letting this person take over my emotions.
This person almost always causes me stress. As much as I want to have a better relationship, it never seems to happen. I think it’s a control issue. This person likes to micromanage and have control and tell me what I should do. I naturally bristle at that. I looked up an article of how to deal with stressors in my life and this is what I discovered from “The Main Causes of Stress” by Elizabeth Scott, M.S. on a website called verywellmind
There are people in all of our lives that cause us stress. It could be a family member, an intimate partner, friend, or co-worker. Toxic people lurk in all parts of our lives and the stress we experience from these relationships can affect physical and mental health.
There are numerous causes of stress in romantic relationships and when couples are constantly under pressure, the relationship could be on the risk of failure.
Common relationship stressors include:5
- Being too busy to spend time with each other and share responsibilities
- Intimacy and sex are become rare due to busyness, health problems, and any number of other reasons
- There is abuse or control in the relationship
- You and your partner are not communicating
- You and/or partner are consuming too much alcohol and/or using drugs
- You or your partner are thinking about divorce
The signs of stress related to personal relationships are similar to normal symptoms of general stress and may include physical health and sleep problems, depression, and anxiety.
You may also find yourself avoiding or having conflict with the individual, or becoming easily irritated by their presence.
Sometimes, personal relationship stress can also be related to our relationships with people on social media platforms, such as Facebook.6 For example, social media tends to naturally encourage comparing yourself to others, which can lead to the stress of feeling inadequate. It also makes bullying easier.
This stressful relationship I have is with a relative, but not my husband. So a lot of the bullet points above don’t apply. But I want to know how do I not let this person affect my psyche and mood? Do I stop communicating all together? Or, do I set boundaries? How do I let the words bounce of me? It reminds me of certain childhood rhymes:
“Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
“I’m rubber, you’re glue, whatever you say bounce off me and sticks to you.”
What suggestions do you have for me to avoid the feelings of conflict and stress interacting with this relative?