Are you losing sleep over your adult kids?

When they were young and I worried about other things.

 I read a fascinating story that said “Study Confirms That Parents Still Lose Sleep Worrying About Their Adult Children.” I am definitely on of those parents who is losing sleep and I know my dear friend Gabby, who shared this story on Facebook is one, also. 

Even before our children are born, we worry about them. We’re relieved when we count the 10 fingers and 10 toes in the hospital, but we still worry. We’re relieved when they do well on their tests in school and make the team, but we still worry. We worry about safety, about their grades, about what they’ll do for a career, about who they’ll one day marry or if they’ll get married at all. The list of things to worry about feels endless.

We hope that our worries will ease as our children get older, but it turns out that’s not the case.

Can you relate to this as a parent, too? On my current list of worries is the bad air quality due to the Camp Fire for my son. He suffers from asthma and the air where he lives has been defined as “hazardous” and/or “dangerous.” As for my daughter, she’s a new graduate trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life. It’s a constant worry to me that she’ll find happiness where ever she decides to live and finds a career that is rewarding and satisfying.

Here’s more from the story:

A recent study conducted by Amber J. Seidel of Pennsylvania State University confirms what many parents already know – you never stop worrying about your children. Her study went on to show that parents actually lose sleep worrying about their adult children.

Parents, it looks like we’ll be worrying forever. If you’re children are already adults, you may already know that to be true.

In Seidel’s study, 186 heterosexual married couples with adult children were surveyed. On a scale of 1 to 8, they were asked how much assistance they offer their children. Assistance could include financial, emotional or even chatting on the phone. Choosing 1 meant daily assistance and interaction where 8 was only once a year.

The parents were also asked to choose from 1 to 5 regarding stress. In this case, choosing 1 meant no stress, and 5 meant the maximum amount of stress.

The third thing these parents tracked was how much sleep they got at night. Moms got an average of 6.66 hours and dads got slightly more with an average of 6.69 hours.

The results were not the same for moms and dads. For moms, it didn’t matter if they were the ones offering assistance or if their husbands were the ones offering assistance; moms were stressed out and sleeping less either way.

Dads showed a lack of sleep and more stress only when they were the ones offering assistance to their adult children. If their wife offered assistance, it didn’t affect them. This either means that dads are not affected in the same way as moms or that the wives weren’t telling their husbands about the assistance causing the dads to be stress free due to lack of knowledge about the situation.

I found it interesting that the dad’s didn’t lose sleep if their wives were the ones offering support. Or, like the article said, maybe they weren’t aware of what was going on. 

Do you worry about your children too, regardless of their age? What do you worry about most?

My kids are learning how to adult and I worry more.
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4 thoughts on “Are you losing sleep over your adult kids?

  1. So very true although I’ve a toddler I am always worried, the thought of traveling scares me, gun violence scares me, any bad news worries me, open windows scares me., her weight worries me .. too much actually 😷😷

    • I wish I could tell you it gets easier. But it doesn’t! I try to focus on all the positives and not get too focused in all the horrific news around us. Be thankful, you can wrap your arms around your little one and give her all your love. I think it gets more worrisome when they are away and you don’t get to do that.

      • I do agree live in the moment and spend quality time with your kids. And it’s a blessings that I can hug her as much as I want since she is toddler once a teenager or away I might not
        able to do as much to my heart’s yearning!

  2. Great advice and outlook! Now here’s a new thing to worry about. I just got a news update sent to my phone to throw away romaine lettuce because an E.coli outbreak across the country! My fridge is filled with it and my husband is at work about to eat his romaine salad as I type!

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