“I Don’t Have a Life!” and other Swimmer Problems

My daughter racing, a few years ago.

My daughter racing, a few years ago.

One of the reasons why swimming gets so difficult as kids get older, is they want to have a life. A life outside the pool, that is.

There were so many conflicts for both of my kids with swimming when they were in high school. I longed for the earlier years when there were fewer demands on their schedules.

Having a heavy AP class load and getting up before 5 a.m. for practice wasn’t easy. My son eventually lost interest in swimming, because he had a tough time balancing six AP classes and competitive swimming. Then he joined a band, and music became his passion. One of my favorite songs he wrote is here: “I Love Desert Nights” by the Saucy Stenographers.

My kids with a swim friend.

My kids with a swim friend.

My daughter stuck with swimming. The ongoing conflicts her junior and senior year seemed unfair. She had to choose between CIF finals (California Interscholastic Federation) which was our closest thing to a state championship—or Senior Night at Disneyland.

She had to choose between NCL Senior Recognition Night or the Speedo Grand Challenge.

NCL Senior Recognition night.

NCL Senior Recognition night.

There were weekly challenges of Friday nights — the night before a big Saturday a.m. practice. “Do I stay home and get to bed early, or can I go out with friends?” was a question she had to answer for herself.

Her junior year there was a conflict between swimming and swimming!

A high school open invitational meet and a Speedo meet were on the same weekend. She was trying to get her first junior national cut and be recruited for college. The high school meet was fun with about 20 high schools coming to her home pool. Her high school team wanted her at the home meet. She knew college coaches were going to be at the Speedo meet and that she needed to work on her long course racing to get the cuts she was pursuing.

My kids and their teammates at a meet in Irvine years ago.

My kids and their teammates at a meet in Irvine years ago.

She chose the long course Speedo meet. Boy, did we get an earful! Either choice she made, somebody was going to be upset. It was truly a “no win” situation. Some of the high school parents told me she should either be “on the team” or “off the team,” and it was unfair to let her high school team down.

I explained that it was her choice and a hard one. IF it came down to choosing between high school swimming or club swimming exclusively, she’d choose club. By allowing her to do both, she could help the high school team in their League championships and at CIF, plus enjoy the joy and fun that high school swimming brings to the sport. It was a choice that she suffered through, but the high school meet she viewed as a  “fun” meet with no consequences. It wasn’t going to affect the team’s standing in any way.

We were fortunate to have club and high school coaches who worked well together. They both had the swimmer’s best interest at heart. I know some swimmers who have to make the choice between swimming club or high school, due to a coach that doesn’t allow both.

When life was easy.

When life was easy.

There’s no right answer, the way I see it. It’s all about learning to make choices and living with your decisions. A good life lesson in itself. Although both of my kids said repeatedly, “I don’t have a life!” Actually they did have a life. They had the life they chose.

What hard choices have your kids made trying to balance school, fun and sports?

2 thoughts on ““I Don’t Have a Life!” and other Swimmer Problems

  1. Such a nice write up that summarize many of swimmers conflicts.. I enjoyed reading , what age did they start swimming competitively? I understand that which ever sport they choose, if they would like to do it well, they have to dedicate significant amount of time. Did you try to guide them in any other sports other than swimming? Burn out factor seems to be high at swimming…

    • Thanks for commenting! My kids tried a number of sports early on from T-ball, karate, tennis, golf, etc. and both ended up loving swimming. When they said they only wanted to swim, we gave up on the driving all over town for other sports. I think it was around fourth grade for my son when he quit other sports, and first grade for our daughter. They both love swimming today. My son swims for his own health and enjoyment and my daughter swims for her college team.

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