Sunrise view from our backyard.
If you only had two months left to live, what would you do?
That’s what my neighbor learned Thursday. He sent an email to his golfing foursome and told them he had been diagnosed that day with brain cancer and had two months to live. He added that he planned on golfing Monday, Wednesday and Friday as normal.
I received an email from my friend, his wife, that she wouldn’t be attending any of our women’s group events because her husband had cancer and didn’t have long to live.
I passed their house during my walk Friday when I spotted them walking out their front door. They both waved to me.
I walked up to them and said, “I just want to give both of you a hug.”
The husband said, “We could use hugs right now.” The wife and I burst into tears. Then he asked me to look out for his wife and call her often.
“Of course,” I said, stunned that he was so calm, collected and more concerned about his wife than himself.
“What did I do to deserve this beautiful man?” my friend said through tears. “I’m grateful for the years I had him in my life.”
He really is one of the kindest, sweetest men I’ve ever met. He always has a smile on his face and seems genuinely interested in you.
Their answer to the question of what would you do with two months left is to get their affairs in order. Live life as they always do — in love, appreciating each other and enjoying the little moments of each day.
What would you do?
Sunset.
It’s really remarkable how well they took the news, and their concern was for each other. Really beautiful people
The wife is crushed but grateful for their relationship. The husband is concerned that she will be okay. They are beautiful people.
I can understand from your description of them. May their time together be of ease. Amen
Thank you 🙏🏼
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I found this “Discipline is training your mind not to give a shit if it is hard, or it hurts, or it sucks. If it needs to get done, it gets done. ” (Wisdom Words). We can’t always control the circumstances of life, random events, or health. The random choice of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, dealing with metastatic cancer, a car accident, a dangerous job. The only thing we can control is or at least have an allusion is by moving forward and taking care of business.
This sounds tough but the best love is to think of those left behind and to try to make things a little easier at a difficult time. Not everyone has that mindset but sometimes it is needed. As I remember those I cared about most, they kept living despite challenges with health, life, and they knew they had lived a full and good life. Thinking of my parents. Enjoy your day.
Yes, that’s exactly how the husband is handling the situation. The rest of us are in shock.
That is so true. It’s exactly what the husband is doing. He always does their taxes and he asked me for a CPA referral for his wife in the future. He’s taking care of business while he can.
That is devastating news for the family and all their many friends like you EA. To be so calm and resigned…I have to wonder if they have been sitting on the information for some time and decided it was finally time to share the news? Perhaps they have had longer than anyone knows to confront the news and make plans…
It is devastating. I don’t believe they knew before. The wife is a wreck and can’t stop crying. She wasn’t like that the week before. I think it’s more the husband resigned with his diagnosis and wanting to make sure his wife will be okay. I’m in a fog.
I am so sorry EA. I know that both now but in the coming months and years the support you lend will be invaluable.
Thank you, Deb. It’s such a shock and makes me think about my own mortality and how I am spending my time. Yes, I have told both of them, I am here for whatever they need.
Oh, I’m so sorry, Elizabeth. It sounds like your neighbor is going to continue to do what he was already doing. Isn’t that great confirmation that he was living the life he wanted all along? Sending hugs!
Thank you, Wynne. After that brief encounter with the neighbors, I came home an emotionally wreck and questioned my own mortality. Yes, they are such a delightful couple and last January they went on a four-month world cruise. He’s a retired NASA astronomer and speaks throughout the country. I definitely think he’s lived his life exactly how he’s wanted. He reminds me of your “awe monsters.”
My heart breaks for them. Most of us will never have this news, nor will we have the warning of the end. I would also tie up any loose ends that I can and spend every waking moment with those who I love and who will cherish those last days.
Sending lots of love and prayers to your dear friends.
Thank you! I’m still in shock for them. You’re right that most of us will never have to experience that. It helped me to write about them.
WOW that is so sad. You were 100% right to offer a hug, I imagine they heard all the words from others. It will be very hard on his wife, you need to make every effort to let her know you are thinking of her and him, then of course inviting her out, maybe over for a dinner – don’t for get those special days (his birthday, their anniversary, her birthday). Elizabeth I am confident you will be a source of strength for her.
Thank you! Yes, he made a point to tell me to watch over her. I can walk and talk with her as often as she wants. Good idea about the special days. When they both waved at me, I considered waving back and walking home. I’m so glad I reached out and hugged them.
What a heartbreaking story. I can’t imagine going through something like that… but none of us know when we’ll take our last breath, do we? Your friends are modeling the importance of living each day as if it could be the last. Do what brings you joy and tell everyone you love how much they mean to you.
That’s true. We don’t know when we’ll take our last breath. I agree that we need to live our lives with joy and share with our loved ones who much they mean to us.
I moved to Lancaster about 10 years ago, and I visited Wheatland, the home of James Buchanan, our 15th President. He is often at or near the bottom of any list of Presidents, so I started researching him. He turned out to be way better than what people think. Recently, I started writing a play about Buchanan, to show him in a much better light. If I only had two months to live, I would work on that play until I finished it. Then I would try to get the folks at Wheatland to put it on in their lecture hall.
That’s an incredible plan. It’s so positive and productive. I think it’s worthy of working on now and making it a 2025 goal.
That certainly is devastating news, for them and everyone connected to them. I’m glad you were able to hug and comfort them. I would just be taking care of distributing things and just living my life, walking with the dogs every day and enjoying the beautiful world.
It was shocking news. I’m so thankful my friend sent a short email to let me know the news. I can’t imagine what they’re going through. It felt good to give them a hug and let them know we’re here for them, even through tears. They are doing exactly what you would do. Getting details taken care of and enjoying their daily walks together as long as they can.
Well, given my current health status, I can tell you that if I am told to prepare for “end of life” by my oncologist, I would spend my last few months making sure Cupcake is set up for a comfortable life.
That’s exactly what our neighbor is doing for his wife. It’s a noble and selfless act.
This was my dad last year. It’s so hard to think of what we would do in this situation, isn’t it?
How sad for you to go through it, too. With my mom’s death Jan. 1, 2023, she died within two hours with no advance warning. It was asymptomatic COVID. I appreciate that my neighbors are preparing for the wife’s future, plus enjoying life as they always have.
Oooh, this tugged my heart! I can’t imagine going through that and facing that question. I pray I would be able to soak up every minute loving my family and friends. ❤️
Prayers for your friends as they face this.
Thank you for the prayers. It was such shocking and unbelievable news. They are doing just as you said — soaking up every minute loving family and friends.
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Oh, this made me tear up. I think I’d do exactly the same as them, get my affairs in order and spend as much time as possible with the people I love.
It was devastating news to hear. I’m so glad I ran into them by their house and didn’t turn away. It would have been easy to wave and not face them.