Two texts arrived within minutes. One on my husband’s phone — a friend who was also a client had lost his battle with pancreatic cancer. He was one of very few to make it almost five years since diagnosis. His daughter texted to tell us the news and invited us to services planned this weekend. It hit me hard. It’s the fifth death of a friend in a short amount of time. I feel mortality is fleeting and I’m scared, especially with my DIL’s cancer. It’s all too real.
Then my phone pinged and there was a picture of a beautiful newborn baby boy. The mother is a swimmer from our club team and was close to my son and daughter. I talk to her mother almost every week. She’s been one of my closest friends for years. I remember the first time I met her, we were at our first swim meet with our son and I felt lost and overwhelmed. My soon to be friend was the only smiling face I saw that day. She drove our second car from Palm Springs to Arizona on the day we moved, her husband following behind in their car. Now that’s a friend. What a joy to see a photo of new life in their family at that moment…
This weekend we’ll be going to a funeral as well as celebrating my dad’s 92nd birthday. That’s life. That’s death. Sadness. Joy.
Today, in my online writing class at Gotham Writers on plots (Gotham Writers was recommended by LA from Waking Up on the Wrong Side of 50) I learned about Life and Death as a theme in plots. A coincidence? I think not.
Then I began a book to read, “The Indigo Girl” by Natasha Boyd. Here’s the opening page:
“No time is ours but the present…and that so fleeting, we can hardly be said to exist.” Eliza Lucas 1722-1793
The Indigo Girl, A novel by Natasha Boyd
What are your thoughts about Life and Death? Do you think it’s unusual to learn about a death and a birth within minutes?
So sorry about the loss of your family friend, Elizabeth and what a poignant counter point to hear the joyous news about a new baby born shortly after you received the news about the loss. We had a similar experience years ago with a death and birth in the family – both on Christmas day. Hugs to you. 💕
Thank you for the hugs. How unusual to have a death and birth in the family on Christmas Day. The photo of the baby was absolutely precious and brought joy on an otherwise sad day.
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Condolences and congrats EA. I’m sure this news seems rather bittersweet for you and the emotions have to be a bit mixed up.
I do not think it’s unusual- coincidental yes, but with so many people that we can place in our lifetime circle of friends/acquaintances/colleagues/etc. it is bound to happen. I think even more so as we ourselves age. We are just in that group that both of the life events you describe EA are happening all around us.
I think you are absolutely correct. We are at the age where we do know people who are at the end of their lives, have illnesses, as well as many of my friends becoming grandparents.
Ideally, when someone dies I would love to hear about a birth…circle of life
Yes, that’s exactly what I was thinking when we got the two texts within minutes of each other.
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I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend, E.A., and that you’ve suffered so may losses in such a short period. I continue to pray for Buff and your family–hoping for the best possible outcome.
My grandmother passed a few days after my best friend’s second daughter was born last August. Not minutes, but close enough to feel meaningful. The juxtaposition was jarring, and yet I was so grateful for the reminder that life goes on and is still beautiful even when we’re faced with loss.
Thank you for all your concern. When a death and birth happen together, it does remind us that life goes on and we are all in the same boat together.
Wow . . . lots going on, life, death and lots of things in between. Just be sure to wear a neck brace so you don’t get whip lash. Hopefully that brings a laugh. Sorry though for the loss of your friend. Always hard to take.
Thank you. I think a neck brace is a good idea! 😅 We knew our friend wasn’t going to live forever with pancreatic cancer, but he had made milestones most don’t. It took us by surprise.
Yea, I can understand!
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Condolences on the loss of your friend. I don’t think it’s all that unusual to hear of a birth within a same time frame. We are at that age when the two events seem to come on more rapidly. Maybe that balance is intended to ease us into the inevitable transition awaiting us all.
Well said. I do agree because while we are losing people to illness, lots of people around us are becoming grandparents.
One arrives and one leaves by different doorways.
That’s one way to say it.
It is a creative way to phrase a sad and happy event together.
I’m sorry to read about your friend. My condolences. I’m happy to read about the newborn, such a joyful event. And as for your father’s birthday, how amazing is that.
What are your thoughts about Life and Death? I like the quote you shared, so that’s my answer. Do you think it’s unusual to learn about a death and a birth within minutes? Yes, definitely.
Thank you. It is going to be a tough weekend with the funeral weighing on us and a five hour drive each way.
Oh, I’m sorry about the swirl, Elizabeth! I remember feeling birth and death so close as I wrote about my dad in the months after his death and was also pregnant with Miss O. It is a poignant full circle.
Sending lots of love to you for both!
Death is the part of life about which we’re 100% sure. The rest can happen or not, death definitely will. So sad as it is to lose a friend or a loved one, love and celebrate life
Your post came on 1/26, which was my birth day. I said a prayer of gratitude for another year of life and hope death doesn’t come anytime soon! Unfortunately, thoughts of death are around, as you know with your DIL’s cancer. Entrepreneur faces renal cell cancer every day. Both our mom’s are elderly and probably just one fall away from a hospital stay or worse. My heart goes out to you as you say goodbye to your friend. 💜
Thank you for your kind post. You understand exactly what I’m going through. Happy birthday! My dad’s birthday (92) was 1/27. I’m glad he’s doing so well. The funeral really helped me feel at peace, it was such a lovely tribute to a sweet soul.
I’ve been attending way too many memorial services lately, so I rejoice when there is a wedding to attend (a friend re-married) or a baby born.
I’m with you on the memorial services! Too many. We do have many of our friends children getting married and having babies, so that is a delight.