“Every moment that you spend upset, despaired, anguished, angry or hurt because or the behavior of anybody else in your life is a moment when you’ve given up control of your life.”
That would be me today. I blew up at my dad. I lost control. It’s a moment I lost of my life.
My dad and I disagree about politics and I let him get under my skin. I called to tell him that my husband is getting his vaccine today. The conversation swiftly turned to politics because previously I had shared an article my son sent me. I thought the article was common sense and not that political.
My dad is 89 years old and we’ve argued over politics for decades. I try to stay away from it. But he loves to bring it up. I shouldn’t let him get me started. It’s when he calls an entire political party racist that I get aggravated. To me that is bigoted behavior. There are all sorts of people with differing views and opinions on all sides of every issue. I tend to see us as individuals and don’t believe in blanket statements about anyone.
The quote above was from a webinar I’m listening to called “Teaching Kids to Manage Their Thoughts.” It’s by David Benzel who is a sports parenting coach and has a nonprofit Growing Champions for Life.
The webinar had some enlightening facts and tips. Did you know that we have an average of 60,000 thoughts a day? Benzel also said that “In the absence of a positive thought, we’l focus on something negative.”
The big takeaway is to become an observer of our thoughts and not be controlled by them. If you have a negative thought, take a look at it. Question where it came from. Ask “does this thought bring me peace or inspire me? Does this thought cause me or others harm? Does this thought contribute to me being my best self?”
If not, tell your brain thanks for sharing, but no thanks!
Benzel says when you become aware of negative thoughts, they lose their power over you.
Wayne Dyer is quoted as saying “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”
Not sure how all this helps me with my angry conversation with my dad. But, I can stop my negative thoughts right now and not entirely ruin my day. I don’t think I’m upset with his behavior, as much as with my own.
I think we are so divided nationally. Name calling and labeling people makes things so much worse.
Any thoughts about talking politics with people you disagree with? Is it even possible in today’s divided atmosphere?
I don’t discuss politics. Ever. Even with people I agree with. I especially don’t discuss with my sister or mother who are each at opposite extremes. Politics stops becoming a discussion because it is something that people have inherent beliefs in. They can’t see the other side ever
Good advice. My dad always brings it into our conversations although we agreed years ago to never discuss politics. And I take the bait. I will follow your lead and stop. It’s true that we’ll never change anyone’s mind but mostly likely get them to dig in more than ever.
Exactly. But it took me a lot of saying “I won’t discuss” to get people to stop