“Do people really think that a stay at home mom is really on equal footing with a woman who works and takes care of herself?” is one of the inane sentences penned by Amy Glass in her rant titled “I Look Down on Young Women with Husbands and Kids and I’m Not Sorry.”
She is sorry. Which is different from feeling sorry.
“You will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to be exceptional if you have a husband and kids,” she says. That sounds like she views the world as “half empty.”
Amy would be blown away by the women in my family. My mother was a coloratura soprano with a voice like gold and a stay-at-home mom. My husband’s aunt was a city planner for Rome and Los Angeles. Now retired, she’s the published author of at least six novels, sews a quilt every month and globe trots twice yearly — all while raising three kids, 8 grandchildren, and being a devoted wife.
I let my career take that proverbial backseat and I am proud of my choice. Twenty years ago, I was visiting my brother in Connecticut from So Cal where I worked full time in PR. His wife was home with their two kids, all of his friends and co-workers’ wives were home, too. This struck me as odd, because my co-workers with kids had Spanish-speaking nannies or day-care for their offspring. In Connecticut, the moms drove children to school, swim lessons and boy scouts. They were proud room moms and drove on field trips.
In So Cal, we were working class, raising working class kids. I saw the children with stay-at-home moms having a huge advantage — and it wasn’t just in wealth. It was having the biggest cheerleader in the world caring about the small details in your life. No one cares as much as mom if you ate breakfast, brushed your hair, or forgot to do your homework. No one will applaud like mom when you take your first step.
It was my choice to put my career on hold. My children are mostly grown and they are happy and successful. It was a big job, but I rose to the occasion and was not concerned with half-empty complainers and whiners like Amy Glass.
“These aren’t accomplishments, they are actually super easy tasks, literally anyone can do them,” Amy writes.
Just try it, I say. Just try it. I won’t judge you for your choice. Don’t judge me for mine. But, I do feel sorry for what you’re missing.