I wrote this when we dropped our daughter off at college several years ago. Now that she’s living in the adult world — I still miss these things about her. We were lucky to have her sheltering in place with us for a couple of months. That was one of the good things that happened in 2020 — not COVID-19 and being locked down — but getting the chance to spend time together.
We took our daughter to college two weeks ago. She looks really happy in the photos posted on FB and Instagram. She’s made new friends, is enjoying her team and coaches — and likes her classes.
My life is busy with new and old projects. But, I notice a quiet, a sort of waiting sense, that I didn’t feel before. It’s the little things about her that I miss.
I miss her cracking my back. She would give me a hug, tell me to relax and say, “One, two..” and lift me up in the air before she said three. The result was cracking, popping relief.
I miss her making me laugh. Kat is funny. I love her little half smile when she knows she’s especially clever. And the crinkles around her eyes when she laughs out loud.
I miss her cleaning out my wallet and organizing it for me. She’d say, “Mom your purse is a gateway to hoarding.”
I miss her walking through the kitchen door after her morning workout asking me to make her eggs. I don’t have anyone to make eggs for right now — except my husband and me — and we rarely eat them.
I miss her cat Olive walking on the skinny end of her four poster bed while she watched Netflix on my laptop.
I miss when she was very young and called yellow “lallo.” And when we’d go to the beach and she’d strip naked as soon as her suit got wet. I used to bring a bag full of swimsuits for her.
I miss going to the pool and watching practice, chatting with the other swim parents. That was a luxury that I took for granted.
Yes, I miss her and I hope she knows how much I love her.
What are the little things you miss the most about your kids who have left home — or friends you no longer see very often?
So relatable EA! I have so many fond memories of all three kids and it’s so fun to think back to those times- which mostly brings laughter. I know right now at the stage of life we are all in my #1 missing thing is one-to-one in person time to sit with each of them and simply talk.
Video chats help, texting is too impersonal but at least it’s something. Phone calls are nice but hearing is not the same as seeing their faces and bodies react to the words we share.
Yes. I miss the in person time. We get short visits but they are never long enough. My daughter asked me to play Scrabble with her through an app and I’m enjoying the noise my phone makes when she’s had her turn. It’s another bit of connection.
My closest friend live in other cities. I just miss how easy it is to be with them
My closest friends are in other states. I totally understand.
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I love this! You may remember my last child flew the coop a few months ago. I missed so many things! And like you, I’m getting a reprieve from missing him because he’s coming back! I’m grateful it isn’t because of lockdowns! But the housing he had lined up near his new job fell through. He’s been couch surfing and applying to places, but nothing has panned out. So he’s flipping the script and coming back to where he has sure housing and applying for jobs instead. Your daughter sounds like a hoot! Kids are certainly blessings!
I think that’s a smart decision on your son’s part. You’ll enjoy him back at home until he leaves again.
Yes! I’m wondering if it’ll be just as hard saying goodbye to him all over again or if I’ll be practiced this time. Lol. I’m sure that, after even the small taste of independence, he won’t stay longer this time than he needs to.
When we bought our Arizona house, we thought the casita would be perfect if either one of our kids needed to come home and wanted some independence. So far, no takers! I think it will be easier for you the next time he leaves, from my experience.
The casita would be perfect! I wish we had one. 🙂
I use it as my place to write, since I don’t have any kiddos staying here. My husband works remotely, so it gives me some quiet space.
So sweet Elizabeth. It’s the love you have for each other that’s peeking through these memories.
Thank you! 💕
You’re most welcome
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Oh….”lallo”. I love that…almost as much as this: “Mom your purse is a gateway to hoarding.” Too funny! And what a treat to see a pic of baby Olive. Sigh. 🥰
I think the thing I miss the most with daughter Delaney being out in the big world is just her presence. Even when she was quiet in the house, her heartbeat and essence were SO detectable at all times. We miss her goofball energy and her knack for calling us out about ANYTHING – with a smile and a wink. 😉🥰😉
You’ve got that exactly right. Their presence knowing they are in your home is enough! I’m glad you enjoyed baby Olive’s photo and my daughter’s remarks.
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Yes! I am fortunate that even though my daughters both have moved out they are not very far away and I see them or at least talk to them often. It makes it so much easier.
That would be nice. Our kids like to visit when we lived in Palm Springs, but not Arizona. I think it was because they grew up in our home and it wasn’t too far of a drive from the Bay Area. Now we’re almost five hours further away.
You’ve messed me up for the rest of the day Elizabeth. I may as well call it a day. I’m thinking about my kids now. I’m useless. Ha, ha. I’m kidding, but I hear you, I miss some of the same things about my three kids. It’s so hard to explain, it’s not one big thing about my kids that I miss. It’s all those things you mentioned and a million others. I don’t want to stifle my kids. I don’t want them to really come home and I’m not even sure that I’d want to go back if I could. It’s just an ache for what once was. Beautiful post, especially love the swimming photo. Such power and grace, beautiful shot.
Thank you. What a compliment. I am with you about not really wanting them to come back home. My daughter’s three-month stint during COVID shutdown was wonderful, but we were all ready to move on. I do look back wistfully at the memories of raising my kids. As for the photo, there was a swim parent on our club team that took amazing photos during meets for every family.
Yea, when my kids ask why I bombarded them with text messages today, I’m blaming you!!! Otherwise they’re going to be rolling their eyes at me. “There goes dad again.” Ha ha, thanks for the walk back through time.
I’ve only been on the phone three times today with my son. My daughter is at work so she is spared 😅
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What I now know is that you don’t need a staff of writers: your writing is touching and evocative. Thank you for sharing such a heartwarming post!
Ohhh, this is so sweet. You’ve hit me right in the heart about what I need to be paying attention to. And I love, “Mom your purse is a gateway to hoarding.” Hilarious!! Beautiful read, Elizabeth!
Thank you, Wynne. I’m so glad you enjoyed this post. It means a lot to me. I guess I’m missing my kids right now and wish I could be with them.
It totally makes sense! There are all sorts of ways to bring them near – some more accessible than others! 🙂 <3
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What an adorable collection of childhood photos you have here! I can imagine them making you wax nostalgic at the drop of a hat. Lucky you. The “gateway to hoarding” comment is a hoot.
My daughter has taken several online comedy writing classes and has just finished a stand up in person class. She does have a fun sense of humor. She kept me laughing the entire time I was privileged to raise her.
I like your photos and how you’re able to look back with joy. Time flies in reality, but also can be preserved in photos like these.
Thank you! Yes time flies and I miss the times we had. But the photos bring back memories.
Everything!
I agree! I’m getting a visit from both mine in a few weeks. They have asked us to give up our social life until after they leave to protect DIL who will be between chemo treatments. No problem!